Foster Care to Future: A Chat with Isabella
Dr. Stance is back at it, chatting with the fierce and fabulous Isabella about turning your hustle into a legacy. This episode dives deep into the challenges and triumphs faced by youth in the foster care system, with Isabella sharing her own journey and the lessons she's learned along the way. We get real about the strength it takes to navigate life’s ups and downs, and how every twist and turn can lead to personal growth. With a sprinkle of humor and heartfelt moments, we're here to remind you that even when the road gets bumpy, you can always rise above and keep pushing forward. Join us for a fun and enlightening conversation that just might inspire you to embrace your own legacy!
Transcript
What's up, y'?
Speaker A:All?
Speaker A:Back to it with Dr. Stance on turning your hustle into a legacy.
Speaker A:This is an extreme special episode.
Speaker A:I got one of my foster youth in my program currently, Ms. Isabella.
Speaker B:Hi.
Speaker A:My nuts.
Speaker A:She's.
Speaker A:Let me tell you.
Speaker A:I'll tell you this.
Speaker A:While I freaking fell in love with this kid, I got a call that it was a DV incident.
Speaker A:Domestic violence for you guys that don't know.
Speaker A:So immediately I'm concerned.
Speaker A:Okay, baby girl, you know, shoot, she's probably, you know, getting her ass wet.
Speaker A:Let me go figure this out.
Speaker A:I get over there.
Speaker A:No, it's not her.
Speaker A:She's the aggressor.
Speaker A:She's whooping on her baby's father.
Speaker A:So to me, I. I immediately fell for her because I'll say 90% of the kids that come to the program is opposite.
Speaker A:So I'll say you're going down in history with B wit for being the opposite.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:You're the first baby daddy beat her upper.
Speaker A:Okay?
Speaker A:And that's not funny, because it's not right.
Speaker A:So I should not be laughing.
Speaker A:But it's just.
Speaker A:It's not normal.
Speaker A:So what drew me to her is one your strength.
Speaker A:She's a mother.
Speaker A:You 19?
Speaker A:Yeah, she's 19 years old.
Speaker A:And a lot of my population that I deal with is minorities, and 98% are minorities.
Speaker A:What's your ethnic background?
Speaker B:Native American?
Speaker B:Hispanic.
Speaker A:Yeah, I was gonna say you look like Native American, actually.
Speaker A:And Hispanic.
Speaker A:I was actually gonna say that.
Speaker A:So I do have a lot of youth that are Hispanic mixed or.
Speaker A:Or black.
Speaker A:And so I think that.
Speaker A:Have you been to that Crash Out?
Speaker A:You ain't came.
Speaker A:I be with CRASH out.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Every Monday, we do a be with Crash out with our kids to give y' all a safe space to just crash them out.
Speaker A:You can say what you want to say.
Speaker A:You ain't heard?
Speaker A:The staff ain't told you.
Speaker A:Nicole.
Speaker A:I know Nicole told you.
Speaker B:Are they the Zoom meetings?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes, I have.
Speaker B:But around that time, I also have a YAP meeting.
Speaker B:It's like a Youth Advisory Board.
Speaker A:Oh, okay.
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker A:I never heard of that.
Speaker B:Yak Yab.
Speaker A:I never heard of that.
Speaker A:Talk to me about that.
Speaker B:So basically, like, if you were incarcerated as a youth and you, like, feel like you want to make a change within the system or people that are incarcerated right now, joining the Youth Advisory Board, we give ideas to people who can go in the facilities and help them with programs or give them opportunities to get jobs or go into the YAP meetings or collaborate with some People to make a better change within the justice system.
Speaker A:Talking very.
Speaker A:These.
Speaker A:Listen, these kids is intelligent, y'.
Speaker B:All.
Speaker A:I'm trying to tell y'.
Speaker A:All.
Speaker A:Very intelligent.
Speaker A:You're very pretty.
Speaker A:This is actually our first time meeting, so I'm really excited to meet you and have you on the platform.
Speaker A:And of course, I already warned her.
Speaker A:I said, you know, I'm telling your business a little bit.
Speaker A:And she agreed to it because this is.
Speaker A:My little Bebe kid just wrote and sat here and ran her car into the apartment complex.
Speaker A:Talk about that.
Speaker A:I think it was me.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:I think it was a Christmas Eve or Christmas.
Speaker B:I went somewhere, got a few drinks.
Speaker B:I made it home safely.
Speaker B:But when I was parking.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:When.
Speaker B:And it started to rain on the way.
Speaker B:On the way to the house, so.
Speaker B:So I went there and I parked.
Speaker B:I didn't know I ran over something.
Speaker B:I felt a bump, but I thought I was okay.
Speaker B:And apparently I wasn't.
Speaker B:So someone came to my door and knocked and said, you're in the wall.
Speaker B:Like, you need to move your car.
Speaker B:I'm like, what?
Speaker B:And so from there, I went outside and I found out I literally made a hole in the wall.
Speaker A:Like her car was parked in someone's living room.
Speaker A:Literally.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:And I. I get the call.
Speaker A:I'm extremely devastated.
Speaker A:Cause first thing on my mind was like, okay, are you okay?
Speaker A:You get what I'm saying?
Speaker A:I want to make sure you were okay.
Speaker A:And then the second thing definitely was the cost of the goddamn damages that are gonna.
Speaker A:I have to pay.
Speaker A:But moral of the story is she's better.
Speaker A:She ain't been drinking as much.
Speaker A:She's done good.
Speaker A:She does have a son.
Speaker A:So, you know, because of that, you probation, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah, she's probation.
Speaker A:Cause just so you guys know, to educate you guys, I get kids from social services and the Juvenile, even mental health services with different counties.
Speaker A:But I'm gonna be honest.
Speaker A:Probation, y' all my favorite.
Speaker A:I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker A:Because 1.
Speaker A:Why do you think you my favorite.
Speaker B:Probation?
Speaker B:The strength.
Speaker A:Oh, well, of course that.
Speaker A:But y' all don't wanna go back to jail.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker A:So most of the time, y' all try to do the right thing.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:So I know it's not easy being that you've been back and forth with the.
Speaker A:The jurisdiction system.
Speaker A:But I know for the most part, one thing I do Love about you, Ms. Isabella, is you're very respectable and you accountable.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:And a lot of kids are not like that.
Speaker A:When I called you and told you the story I mean, we just.
Speaker A:Boo hoo.
Speaker A:Laughing like, I thought you was so tickled by me.
Speaker A:And I appreciate you answering.
Speaker A:Every time I call her, she answers.
Speaker A:She's always there, you know?
Speaker A:And how do you like your new spot?
Speaker A:I know she moved from SAC and now you in Oakland.
Speaker A:Now that's a total different.
Speaker B:Definitely.
Speaker A:It's different, huh?
Speaker B:Yeah, it definitely is.
Speaker B:Especially like in the east side of it, too.
Speaker A:That's East Oakland for you, darling.
Speaker A:And I think you on See Em somewhere, so definitely.
Speaker A:And I always tell you guys, you know, housing is extremely hard to get for foster youth.
Speaker A:It's just hard because they know that you guys be troubled.
Speaker A:Y' all be off the hook.
Speaker A:Y' all got parties, popping off, y' all doing all kind of shit that just.
Speaker A:Just turns it up.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:But let's talk about how did you get into the foster care system?
Speaker A:And I say this to you because.
Speaker A:And the reason I invite my foster youth because you guys stories could help heal other foster youth that may struggle with the same thing.
Speaker A:So one, before you start, I just wanted to congratulate you and honor you for showing up because a lot of kids don't want to do it, but actually 90% do want to do it.
Speaker A:So I appreciate you driving all the way from SAC to show up.
Speaker A:So clock that.
Speaker A:Like they always say.
Speaker A:So how did you get into foster care?
Speaker B:So even.
Speaker B:Even before my adopted parents, when I was like three or four years old, I remember.
Speaker B:I remember me and my two other siblings, my brother and my little sister, we got took in by two people in the car, and I don't see nobody else except my big brother and my little sister with me, and we're confused.
Speaker B:Next thing you know, we end up going to a foster home.
Speaker B:That's how I met my.
Speaker B:My former adopted parents, Gussie and Thomas Willis.
Speaker B:They brought us in and then they adopted us.
Speaker B:I think around like five I was.
Speaker B:They adopted me and my brother, but my sister, my little sister went with my auntie and we lived in Arizona at that time.
Speaker B:So it.
Speaker B:We lived there for a few years.
Speaker B:You know, we had a.
Speaker B:Some visits here and there, but then we eventually moved to Odessa, Texas, and then basically a whole new life.
Speaker B:You know, I'm still with my foster parents and me, I was a troubled kid.
Speaker B:My brother, he was autistic, so it was more focused on him than me.
Speaker B:I was more of like the attention seeker, you could say, say, just getting into trouble and not listening to the.
Speaker B:My parents around like 10 years old, we moved to California to live with my sister in Oak Grove.
Speaker B:And from there I felt like, just as.
Speaker B:As I was getting older, my behavior started to get worse.
Speaker B:I started to, like, yell back at my parents, run away from the belt, just do little dumb stuff that I shouldn't be doing, listening to the kids at school instead of my parents wanting to be fast and all of that.
Speaker B:And eventually life is going to teach you one way or another.
Speaker B:So you have.
Speaker B:So I chose kind of the hard way by not listening to my parents and giving them a hard time to where they had to say, you know what?
Speaker B:We're just gonna put you back in the foster system.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker B:And from there, I entered the CPS center in Sacramento, California.
Speaker B:And it was definitely experience.
Speaker B:I met a few.
Speaker B:Few friends that were, you know, doing some negative stuff back then, but I still keep in touch with a few of them.
Speaker B:Some of them are still good, doing better in their life, and some of them I met in, you know, jail or juvenile, you know, still on that path.
Speaker B:Recently, a friend, Victoria, that was in my group, she.
Speaker B:I met her in jail when I first went to jail.
Speaker B:And my second time I went to jail.
Speaker B:She was in there for.
Speaker A:She's in the program.
Speaker B:She was in the program.
Speaker B:She's not eligible no more because she was in there for some time.
Speaker A:So she was in my program.
Speaker B:No, she's in a different program, though, but she was in a foster system like me.
Speaker B:But.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:What, it just got bad?
Speaker B:No, no, no.
Speaker B:Like, she.
Speaker B:She followed me on Instagram and I followed her back from there.
Speaker B:I just been watching her stories and then, like, she's still up to the same old thing she was doing that probably got her into jail and.
Speaker B:Yeah, so you just.
Speaker A:That's good.
Speaker A:You paid attention and removed yourself.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Because, you know, you do have a son.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:And I'm proud of you for just trying to take the higher road, because life is short.
Speaker A:And my granny used to always tell me, life is about choices.
Speaker A:And honestly, I'm glad you ran into that damn building, because you know why?
Speaker A:I think that's gonna teach you.
Speaker A:You don't wanna do that again.
Speaker A:Because it was repercussions behind that.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And big ones.
Speaker A:So I think that sometimes when we're youngsters, we do dumb stuff, but it makes us grow and be like, you know what?
Speaker A:I ain't gonna do that again.
Speaker A:But, like, you seem like the type of young lady that don't bump their hair twice.
Speaker A:And so I.
Speaker A:Maybe.
Speaker A:Maybe not three times.
Speaker A:I'll say maybe twice.
Speaker A:But maybe not even four times with your butt.
Speaker A:Like two to three times.
Speaker B:I learned.
Speaker A:Okay, I'll say about on the fourth time.
Speaker A:You about done?
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:But I do give you this.
Speaker A:I want to know, if you were your younger self, what would you have done differently?
Speaker B:I feel like I would have just listened to my parents, honestly, even though I feel like at a young age I only remember some parts, but I still have that memory of going through certain things and, like, feeling uncomfortable or, like, worrying.
Speaker B:Worrying about where my other siblings are and, like, what's happening.
Speaker B:I feel like if my mom was supposed to do what she was supposed to do in the beginning, I feel like my life would have been at least semi better.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But either way, I'm happy where I'm at now because I've learned and I've grown and, you know, I see where I want to be, and I'm trying to reach for it, but we're stuck in these habits.
Speaker B:But were you doing good, pudding?
Speaker A:You trying?
Speaker A:You trying?
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker B:And that's all it takes.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I'm proud of you.
Speaker A:I think you're absolutely beautiful.
Speaker A:You have when your birthday?
Speaker B:April 8th.
Speaker A:Aries.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Oh, no, I forgot.
Speaker A:Doug, you whooping on that baby daddy?
Speaker A:Because, listen, don't play with them fire signs.
Speaker A:That boy, I gotta meet him one day.
Speaker A:You come into our event.
Speaker A:You guys know we have an event February 13th.
Speaker A:This.
Speaker A:Did they tell you about that?
Speaker A:The staff, they.
Speaker B:I don't think so, no.
Speaker A:What's up?
Speaker A:Like, what?
Speaker A:So we having a big Valentine's Day event February 13th.
Speaker A:I'm gonna have a celebrity there for y'.
Speaker A:All.
Speaker A:It's gonna be fondue, and it's gonna.
Speaker A:It's just a surprise.
Speaker A:It's a gala.
Speaker A:And I also am donating, like, $50 per youth for you to get you a beautiful dress.
Speaker B:Oh, that's pretty.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So I want you to be dressed up really pretty.
Speaker A:Get your hair done, get your makeup done.
Speaker A:You know, some of the girls in the program will do your makeup and your hair, too.
Speaker A:So I, I, you know, I don't.
Speaker A:You got any friends?
Speaker A:Like, in sack?
Speaker A:Like, as far as in the program?
Speaker B:In the program?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker A:You didn't talk to no girls in this program, huh?
Speaker B:Nah.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:See, that's why I want you to come to the B with Crash Out.
Speaker A:We got the hair stylist, the nail techs, all that in.
Speaker A:They all in the program.
Speaker A:Yeah, you can get that done almost for free.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'm just more of a home.
Speaker B:Home body.
Speaker A:No, you ain't no.
Speaker A:Your butt ain't no home body.
Speaker A:No, but I get it.
Speaker A:You just.
Speaker A:You're protective, probably your energy and want to be mindful of who you hang around.
Speaker A:Definitely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:So I get it when that's.
Speaker A:That's actually smart because you're a mother now.
Speaker A:So I'm proud of you for that.
Speaker B:But thank you.
Speaker A:Like I said, you're a gift to me.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:God put you in my life for a reason.
Speaker A:So I want to be a gift to you.
Speaker A:And I want you to look under your.
Speaker A:That chair, actually, because I actually gave the other one to Ms. Khadijah that was on the show under that chair.
Speaker A:I got you a little special gift.
Speaker A:And I try to give all my little foster kids and my foster babies a gift because I love you guys so much.
Speaker A:And I wouldn't be where I was, you know, today if God didn't send me to be you guys support.
Speaker A:So I got you a cute little Versace robe.
Speaker A:Ut.
Speaker A:I thought you were talking about Ut.
Speaker A:Look at you.
Speaker A:Got you a Versace robe.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:I'm just saying.
Speaker A:Saying so.
Speaker A:I think you deserve it.
Speaker A:And the reason why I get you guys luxury gifts.
Speaker A:Cuz I think I want to show you guys there's a whole another world.
Speaker A:If you focus on your career, focus on your goals in life, you can get this stuff.
Speaker A:Cuz I know y' all want it.
Speaker B:Yeah, I did it.
Speaker A:Y' all age like I was.
Speaker A:Love fashion, but I didn't have nobody to get it for me.
Speaker A:So I think if you have somebody like me that's showing you the other world and inspiring you, and that don't mean just luxury stuff inspire you.
Speaker A:No, it's just about getting the affordable, you know, the nice things in life.
Speaker A:You deserve it.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:So I just want you to know that I think you are everything to me.
Speaker A:Thank you for being in our program.
Speaker A:Are we.
Speaker A:This your first program?
Speaker B:This is my second.
Speaker A:Am I.
Speaker A:Am I the best or what's up?
Speaker B:Yeah, you are.
Speaker B:Cause the last one didn't like me.
Speaker A:And I took you under all circumstances.
Speaker A:For those of you that don't know, and I know you know they tarnish your name.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Cause they talk real bad.
Speaker A:But I don't give a damn what they say about y'.
Speaker A:All.
Speaker A:I always give all of you guys a shot.
Speaker A:I. I don't think I gave you about three or four shots, though, just.
Speaker A:Cause I love your energy.
Speaker A:I didn't get you a few shots.
Speaker A:And most of the time.
Speaker A:Let's just be Real.
Speaker A:When something like that happen, what they do, they'll terminate you, right?
Speaker B:Definitely.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:They'll pilt you out.
Speaker A:And they don't give.
Speaker A:They don't look back.
Speaker A:But I don't do my kids like that because I was you.
Speaker A:Probably worse, to be honest with you, but, you know, I was you.
Speaker A:So it's okay that you've bumped your head a couple times.
Speaker A:You know, you need the support and love of someone genuinely that cares and love you.
Speaker A:Like, you know, I didn't call.
Speaker A:I think you didn't call me.
Speaker A:Like, t. I got this, you know, And I'll just be like, okay, girl, do your clock, your teeth.
Speaker A:So I just wanted to give you that, and I'm so grateful you came.
Speaker A:Any last words you would want to tell a foster youth that's aging out, that's 17 getting ready to come into a program?
Speaker B:Yeah, I would say, like, use the.
Speaker B:Use the program's money for whatever you need now.
Speaker B:And if, like, get your head in, whether you're in school or whether you're, like, trying to get into a job, save that money.
Speaker B:So when you get out, you have somewhere to go or purchase somewhere to go.
Speaker B:I feel like mainly at our ages, we tend to spend a lot on unnecessary things like food or clothing.
Speaker B:And we don't even have our stuff right because we.
Speaker B:We are provided these things, and that is such a blessing.
Speaker B:We should be very much grateful for that because a lot of kids don't have that.
Speaker B:And I feel like we are blessed with that.
Speaker B:So just take things into gratitude and save up for where you want to be.
Speaker A:And, you know, you get a savings, too, once you graduate.
Speaker A:We save.
Speaker A:You knew that, right?
Speaker B:I knew some programs did it.
Speaker B:I didn't know all programs did it.
Speaker A:Well, we all different, but with my program, we definitely save money for you at the end.
Speaker A:That way, when you do graduate at 21, you have a nice little lump sum to take with you.
Speaker A:Cause you go to the next level, which is the THP Plus.
Speaker A:So we definitely saved that for you.
Speaker A:I didn't know if you know that I'm gonna get on my snap.
Speaker A:I need to be telling y' all this stuff.
Speaker A:We got a lot of incentives.
Speaker A:You get your id, you get high school diploma, whatever.
Speaker A:We pay you for that stuff.
Speaker A:Your bank account, going to doctor's appointments.
Speaker A:We give you incentives and pay you for that.
Speaker A:Just so you know.
Speaker A:You know about that?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker A:That's a problem.
Speaker A:So I'll get on them and let you know.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'll send you that form when we done?
Speaker A:But I thank you for coming.
Speaker A:I love you so much, Ms. Isabela.
Speaker B:I love her so much.
Speaker A:And afterwards, I'm gonna give you a few bucks.
Speaker A:You go get you something to eat next door.
Speaker B:I'm gonna go get some.
Speaker A:Go get some more gas, and I'll give you still a little bit more, because I know she drove way from Sacramento, y', all, to come here.
Speaker B:I feel like I've been driving all week.
Speaker A:Literally, she drove two hours to come, so I had to bless you with that.
Speaker A:And I got you.
Speaker A:So that's the end of turning your hustle into a legacy with Dr. Stance and me and Ms. Isabella.
Speaker A:Love you, boo.
