Turning Struggles into Strength: Erica Santos' Inspiring Journey
Dr. Stance is diving deep into the real-life struggles and triumphs of loyalty and love with her best friend, Erica Santos. This episode is all about Erica's incredible journey supporting her husband, Tavo, through his six-year battle with kidney disease, culminating in a life-saving transplant. We chat about the emotional rollercoaster that comes with such a journey, the strength it takes to stand by your loved ones, and the power of faith in the toughest times. Erica's story is raw and inspiring, proving that true loyalty shines brightest in adversity. So grab your favorite snack, settle in, and get ready to hear a tale that’s as heartwarming as it is eye-opening!
Transcript
Sam, What's up?
Speaker A:What's up?
Speaker A:It's your girl.
Speaker A:Dr. Stans with Turning your hustle into a legacy.
Speaker A:Today is an extremely special episode.
Speaker A:I brought my bestest friend in the entire world, Ms. Erica Santos.
Speaker A:Hi, sister.
Speaker B:Thanks for having me.
Speaker A:Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker A:I wanted to switch it up.
Speaker A:Cause, you know, I always do celebrities and having all these random people that we haven't coming on.
Speaker A:But I was like, I want somebody close to me, somebody that personally knows me.
Speaker A:We done took trips together, passed out drunk together, you know, found in bathrooms on the side, laid out like, this is my bestie, y', all, period.
Speaker A:Invested and believed in me, and my company, helped me build my spa, everything.
Speaker A:Like, you're definitely one of a kind.
Speaker A:I've never met nobody like you in my entire life.
Speaker A:Shout out to you, Shantae, Tracy, all my besties, Shay.
Speaker A:I just love y', all, but you definitely are different.
Speaker A:Love your entire family.
Speaker A:And I wanted to bring you on because I want to start talking more about real life reality stuff.
Speaker A:Right, right.
Speaker A:Because I feel like all we talk about is just fabricated celebrity stuff.
Speaker A:So this one, I was like, you know, you was invited to the news because of husband Tavo, you know, and I really want to just really talk about how they always say it's not loyal women in the world.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And you are the meme of loyalty.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:And I say that because Mr. Thabo, her husband, my brother, struggled with kidney.
Speaker B:Disease for what, six years?
Speaker B:Diagnosed for six years before he received a transplant.
Speaker A:Correct, Correct.
Speaker A:And it was tough for you?
Speaker B:Real tough.
Speaker B:Yeah, it was incredibly long journey.
Speaker B:And all throughout Covid, on top of all that, it.
Speaker B: He was diagnosed in March of: Speaker B:So he was already at the end stage of kidney failure.
Speaker B:And it was a shock to all of us because he was at work, and the doctors are calling and saying, your husband has to go to the er.
Speaker B:And he was at work, so his labs came back really, really bad, and he needed to get to the ER asap.
Speaker B:And unfortunately, it was during COVID In the height of COVID It was the first.
Speaker B:First couple weeks of COVID So we met at Kaiser and Fremont, and essentially they just said, you need a kidney transplant.
Speaker B:That's all they could really tell em.
Speaker B:That was, yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker A:Cause I've seen you with the ups and downs and us crying on the phone like, oh, God, the mother freaker's gonna die.
Speaker A:And then it's like, okay, he's gonna live.
Speaker A:And that's an emotional low Emotional drain, like, literally sucking you dry.
Speaker A:But I think, honestly, you're one of the strongest women I've ever.
Speaker A:Ooh, God, it's okay to cry on this episode.
Speaker A:Cause I'm like, my lashes, I might peel them off on this epis.
Speaker A:But you're probably one of the most strongest women I've ever met.
Speaker A:Because to stick with that, a lot of women I feel like would not.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:And to stick with that.
Speaker A:When Tav was sick, I seen him.
Speaker A:I seen the ups, I seen the downs, and, you know, him even having his emotional breakdowns and stuff like that.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:It's a lot.
Speaker B:Well, I will say first and most.
Speaker B:Fourth, it was through God I was able to carry on, and we can do hard things through him.
Speaker B:And definitely built my faith and my faith and my testimony is all through watching my husband be saved.
Speaker B:And, I mean, Audra has been through many nights where I lost hope.
Speaker B:And even early on, in the beginning, when he started this journey, he had to do hemo or.
Speaker B:I'm sorry, not hemodialysis, peritoneal dialysis at home.
Speaker B:So it was a really, really complicated thing that he did at home.
Speaker B:Dialysis almost up to 14 hours a night.
Speaker B:He was hooked up to a machine doing dialysis, and that allowed him the freedom of still working.
Speaker B: s still able to work up until: Speaker B:And he then went on the hemodialysis, which is in the dialysis center.
Speaker B:So he was then doing dialysis three days a week.
Speaker A:And that was hard.
Speaker A:That was so hard.
Speaker B:I mean, thank God I had family and friends to support me and get him there and drive him there and pick him up and that he was strong enough to not give up, right?
Speaker B:This is a family curse for Tavo.
Speaker B:His grandfather and his father and his twin brother all passed of kidney disease.
Speaker B:So in Tavo's case, he was eligible for a kidney transplant.
Speaker B:And so he kept fighting, right?
Speaker B:He stayed faithful that the transplant was coming.
Speaker B:And through the hemodialysis, that kept him going and kept him well enough to receive the transplant.
Speaker A:I knew he was going to get it.
Speaker A:Remember when we was.
Speaker A:When I first was close to meeting her, I knew that it was going to happen because my father, too, was going through the same situation.
Speaker A:And in my soul, it was telling me, girl, he gonna be good.
Speaker A:Don't worry, the transplant's gonna come.
Speaker A:I seen it, I felt it, I knew it, and it came.
Speaker A:Tell them how it Came like that, I think, is just a testimony.
Speaker A:Like, even the news went to pick it up.
Speaker B:Yeah, right.
Speaker A:It was a big thing.
Speaker B:So I don't know if you guys know, but Audra is a child of God.
Speaker B:She is anointed.
Speaker B:You are sister.
Speaker B:And you did have that feeling, and you did have that calling from God to give to me, to stay strong and stay faithful.
Speaker B:So it's really hard to get a kidney transplant.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Super hard.
Speaker B:In the state of California, the average person's waiting over 10 years.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker B:To just hope that one day that either someone's gonna pass or there's an accident or something comes up and you'll be eligible and you'll get the call right in the middle of the night, whenever.
Speaker B:But most people don't have 10 years.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Their body won't hold out that long.
Speaker B:So your next best hope is getting a living donor.
Speaker B:And so we reached out to friends, family, the Internet, everyone, and started having people test to see if they're a match for my husband, Tavo.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker B:It's a huge sacrifice.
Speaker B:I didn't do it.
Speaker B:I mean, I wasn't.
Speaker B:I wasn't able to do it, you know, so.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And that was another part of the process.
Speaker B:We don't have children.
Speaker B:We're not independently wealthy.
Speaker B:The social worker really explained, like, you both can't be in the hospital at the same time, so you're kind of scratched off the list, you know?
Speaker B:So we kept searching and searching, and believe it or not, my best friend Sarah, who lives in Texas, love her.
Speaker B:Her mom, Judy, has, like, an auntie to me, has the sweetest boyfriend, David.
Speaker B:And David, at 62 years old, was like, I'll do it.
Speaker B:So David, our angel donor, he hadn't even met my husband at this point.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:But he was willing to go and make the sacrifice.
Speaker B:And it's a big deal.
Speaker B:Like, huge.
Speaker B:You know, there's, of course, the actual donation, but the process took a year.
Speaker B:He was going to UCSF getting tested.
Speaker B:And I believe part of that long journey is they're doing a psychological exam at the same time.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because it's a big deal to.
Speaker B:To sacrifice an organ for someone, let.
Speaker A:Alone someone you don't know, man.
Speaker B:So even at some point, they thought there was maybe we were paying him to do it or something.
Speaker B:I mean, there's social workers calling you.
Speaker B:They're making sure that this person is mentally stable to do this, physically healthy, and that their life isn't gonna be compromised after they give up the organ.
Speaker B:So a Year later, David was cleared to give the transplant, and he was a match to my husband.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:What's the odds?
Speaker B:Same blood type, same ethnicity.
Speaker B:However, then we meet with the surgeons, and there was a.
Speaker B:A size issue.
Speaker B:So Tavo's 6 foot 2 and David's under 5 8.
Speaker B:So they're like, that's not going to match.
Speaker A:Really?
Speaker A:I didn't know that you.
Speaker B:We didn't know.
Speaker B:They're like, oh, I can't do 5 7.
Speaker A:What.
Speaker A:What does that mean is Kitty's gonna be.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:I mean, it kind of makes sense.
Speaker B:So your kidney is not gonna match for Chava's height.
Speaker B:So there's another way that David was still able to donate.
Speaker B:So he went ahead and did the angel donor, and his kidney went to a man in Chicago.
Speaker A:Oh.
Speaker B:So through the National Kidney foundation, they have a SWAT program.
Speaker A:Omg.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So if he's still willing to donate, his kidney is going to go to the next eligible person, and then it gives Tavo a voucher.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:Then he is, you know, on top of the list.
Speaker B:You have a voucher.
Speaker B:You're next.
Speaker B:You're going to get a kidney.
Speaker B:So we were so excited.
Speaker B:It was all set to go.
Speaker B: David went June of: Speaker B: th of: Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker B:So we were here in this park.
Speaker B:We were here in this parking lot together.
Speaker B:Audra was with me when I got the call, and she talked me off the ledge.
Speaker B:So we're all set up to go.
Speaker B:I own my own business.
Speaker B:So I made arrangements to be off work for the next six weeks because he did require 24 hour care.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, he did.
Speaker B:So there's a lot of doctor's appointments, there's medicine that needs to be timed.
Speaker B:And then of course, just making sure that they're okay after the treatment or the transplant.
Speaker B:And so we got the unforsaken news that he had an infection two days before transplant.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:I remember that.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:We were devastated over that.
Speaker B:So it was canceled.
Speaker B:Everything was canceled.
Speaker B:And I was defeated at that point.
Speaker B:I was done.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, he was too, right?
Speaker B:I mean, here we had been on the highest of high, like, okay, it's going, it's happening.
Speaker B:And now he's got this unforeseen infection and we're back at square one.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Back at square one.
Speaker B:Well, actually, we're back in the hospital now at this point.
Speaker B:So few months go on, and he's fighting this infection.
Speaker B:And the doctors couldn't figure out what was going on.
Speaker B:So the next couple months in and out of Kaiser and that's a journey in itself.
Speaker A:I know, I know.
Speaker A:I, I feel like, put her on the phone.
Speaker A:Let me speak to him.
Speaker A:So many times I was like, let me speak to him.
Speaker A:I know.
Speaker B:And Kaiser is wonderful.
Speaker B:They are, they are, they were, they know their limits and they outsource all of the kidney stuff with ucsf.
Speaker B:So we were fortunate enough to be treated at UCSF with Kaiser involved as well.
Speaker B:So finally got him cleared and healthy after several months of infections.
Speaker B:And then we got the call.
Speaker B:December is going to be the new transplant day.
Speaker A:Yeah, this is all recent, y'.
Speaker A:All.
Speaker A:Like, this is, this is what, three months he been cool.
Speaker B:Yeah, yeah, three months.
Speaker B:Yeah, it was so.
Speaker B:It was like almost four.
Speaker B:The initial was August and then transplant came again in December.
Speaker B:So here we are again, gearing up, getting excited.
Speaker B:I'm making arrangements to get off work again.
Speaker B:I mean it's going back and even just talking about, I forget how hard it was.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But because now we're on the other side of it.
Speaker B:But it was, it was very tough.
Speaker B:I'm self employed and I own a hair salon and a jewelry business and I have appointments that are booked out for several months.
Speaker B:So I had to make arrangements and super grateful for a staff that a team of girls that just stepped up and took over my business and shout.
Speaker A:Out to them, Mercedes and Kat.
Speaker B:Yes, all of them, Bri, all of them were so great.
Speaker B:And you know, then the next part that kicks in is the fear of money.
Speaker A:Of course, you know, it's always gotta be something.
Speaker A:If the health good, the money gonna be wrong.
Speaker A:If the money and the health good, then the relationship's messed up.
Speaker A:It's gotta be something when you're a child of God and you covered well.
Speaker B:And that was the true.
Speaker A:That was probably the hardest part.
Speaker B:That was the hardest part.
Speaker B:That was the last test that God was testing me on because he couldn't work.
Speaker B:He couldn't work, I couldn't work.
Speaker B:And I was going about to face the next two months of no income.
Speaker B:So, you know, in the end it was always going to work out.
Speaker B:But when you're in the thick of it, you don't even know how you're going to keep your doors open and pay your bills.
Speaker B:And it just always does.
Speaker B:I mean, God really showed up for me in so many ways.
Speaker B:From Audra being able to help me out in December that month when it happened, and my dearest friends, my sister paying my rent, I mean, no questions Asked.
Speaker B:People just showed up for me, and it was all through God because I.
Speaker A:Really didn't know what to do.
Speaker B:There was no certainty in anything.
Speaker B:Of course, then the fear kicks in of the kidney.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:It's back to back.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:This is why I say you the strongest woman that I know.
Speaker A:I've never seen it before.
Speaker A:Like, from needing the kidney.
Speaker A:Okay, we got it.
Speaker A:Yay.
Speaker A:Then the money, then.
Speaker A:Okay, we don't have.
Speaker A:And now back to the kidney.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:That's why I said, listen, I've never met anyone like you.
Speaker A:You think that I'm all cuckoo bananas and strong and all that.
Speaker A:No, you're strong.
Speaker A:I feel like God puts certain things on certain people that, you know, can handle it.
Speaker A:You're a soldier.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And, you know, we have that in common to where we even have to tell Tavo, listen, you better go get saved getting to church and talk to God.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Because, you know, I feel like, though, at the end of the day, he's always gonna put things on us and push us in the court to test your faith.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And I think that's what he did with you.
Speaker A:And most importantly, Tav.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:I feel like he tested Tav and he forced him to believe.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:So I just.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:Your story is just so finish on, like.
Speaker A:So once you got the.
Speaker B:Once we got the second date, it ended up being December 19th.
Speaker B:And then we got a call, and they're like, no, we're pushing it up to December 12th.
Speaker B:The new.
Speaker B:The new transplant day is December 12th.
Speaker B:So we get all geared up.
Speaker B:We get to UCSF, and it was a super rainy day storming, and the weather's really bad.
Speaker B:And at this point, we know the kidney is coming from New Jersey.
Speaker B:Well, you know, weather.
Speaker B:Who would even think this?
Speaker B:But the weather was playing a role in his whole day.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Because they're flying that kidney in.
Speaker B:So then, because Tavo was a recipient to the voucher, he got a kidney from a living donor from New Jersey.
Speaker A:How does that work?
Speaker A:Like, so they fly the kidney in.
Speaker A:Is it on ice or.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:It was like an episode of the er.
Speaker B:I felt like I was on a reality TV show that day.
Speaker B:Because, I mean, they're just waiting.
Speaker B:They're like, you know, there's delays.
Speaker B:And then when it finally arrives, they're like, the eagles landed at sfo.
Speaker B:Prep them and get him ready to go down to the OR room.
Speaker B:I mean, it was just touch and go all day waiting on this kidney.
Speaker B:So he was scheduled to go for transplant, I think, at 1pm and he didn't go in till 8:40 at night, all day, just sitting there.
Speaker A:I know, yo, and I know how you.
Speaker B:You know my anxiety with my wide eyes.
Speaker B:Huh?
Speaker A:I know you was walking around.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:Literally, my heart's pounding now.
Speaker A:Cause I already know you and your spirit and your energy.
Speaker A:So I know in that moment.
Speaker A:Oh, God, I don't think I could imagine.
Speaker A:And I ain't never seen Percy so involved and intrigued by an episode.
Speaker A:Like, normally he got his headphones on, he down.
Speaker A:Look, he ain't even paying me or the.
Speaker A:It could be a celebrity.
Speaker A:He don't care.
Speaker A:That's how I know.
Speaker A:This is why I wanted it to be more personal things and people to get to know me and who I hang with.
Speaker A:And you and the, you know, the spiritual friends that I have.
Speaker A:Like, I just.
Speaker A:Like I said, you are the epitome of loyalty and strength.
Speaker B:Well, thank you.
Speaker B:It's all through God.
Speaker B:I mean, I was tested every day at my weakest moments, every month, every day, week.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean, I lived it with you.
Speaker B:There's some dark days, for sure.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah.
Speaker A:I was there.
Speaker B:Some touch and go moments, for sure.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But they did, you know.
Speaker B:Oh, there's another really, really cool thing that I forgot to include in that.
Speaker B:So Tavo's birthday is December 13th.
Speaker B: ou imagine that he woke up at: Speaker A:Crazy.
Speaker B:Tell me his brother didn't send him that.
Speaker B:His twin brother from heaven sent him that on their birthday.
Speaker A:Cause like you said, his.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:Whew.
Speaker A:I was there too.
Speaker B:His twin brother passed.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:And from the same kidney disease.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So UCSF was able to determine because they put Tavo in a study because he's so young, he's not overweight.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:He's Tavo.
Speaker B:He's 48.
Speaker B:So when he was diagnosed, he was 42.
Speaker B:So, you know, he is type 2 diabetic, but you don't get kidney failure at 40 years old.
Speaker B:Like, something else was up.
Speaker B:So the.
Speaker B:The UCSF had him in a study, and they carry a gene that is an autoimmune disorder that actually attacks the blood vessels in the kidneys.
Speaker B:NGA neuropathy.
Speaker B:And it's a specific autoimmune that was attacking their kidneys.
Speaker B:And I'm assuming that's gone on for generations.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:If grandpa passed of kidney disease, dad did twin brother.
Speaker B:And then Chavo saved or was saved with this kidney.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And then three, the son, the father and the grand.
Speaker B:Yeah, there you go.
Speaker A:Trinity.
Speaker A:That's crazy.
Speaker B: ing a call from the doctor at: Speaker B:He was saved with the new kidney on his actual birthday.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Is that something like.
Speaker A:If you don't believe, I'm scared for you, you better go.
Speaker A:You ain't got to go to church, but you better believe.
Speaker A:That's deep, sis.
Speaker B:I know.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker B:I mean, chills.
Speaker A:Me too.
Speaker B:I'm like, you know, I was fortunate enough to be raised with something, Right.
Speaker B:My parents took us to church.
Speaker B:We were raised Catholic.
Speaker B:My parents are believers.
Speaker B:But I've gone in and out of my belief, and I've stepped away from the church many times.
Speaker B:But this journey, there's no other explanation.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:For what I went through and what Tava's testimony is.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:I mean, it's incredible.
Speaker B:There is such thing as miraculous healing.
Speaker B:And there is, and death can miracles.
Speaker B:And death can be healing too.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You know, for terminally ill people.
Speaker B:And his brother was never eligible for a transplant because why?
Speaker B:His health wasn't ever good enough, and his lifestyle didn't support the transplant, so, you know, they were.
Speaker B:He was never eligible.
Speaker B:But in some cases, death can be healing too.
Speaker A:You know, I really believe that you were Tavo's angel in his saving grace, and you actually saved his life.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:You gave him life.
Speaker A:You gave him life again.
Speaker A:I feel like that because if you weren't there and all of this was to transpire, he may not have made it straight up.
Speaker A:Like, I don't feel like he would have, because that's why I be telling men sometimes, even Percy, I be on Percy.
Speaker A:It takes a strong woman to have a man's back and stay loyal and love him unconditionally.
Speaker A:And I gotta talk to my own self and my retarded ass.
Speaker A:I'll be quick to leave.
Speaker A:He'll die.
Speaker A:I'll be all right.
Speaker A:No, but it takes a strong woman to be loyal, have faith, be a believer, and that could change a whole man's life.
Speaker A:That changed that man.
Speaker A:Cause let's just be 100.
Speaker A:Tavo believed, but I think he was mad at God.
Speaker A:Sure, he was upset, and I get it.
Speaker A:A lot of people go through that.
Speaker A:Sure, he was upset because he, like, how could you put me through this?
Speaker A:You put my grandpa, my dad, and now I lose my brother.
Speaker A:Losing your twin, Were they super duper, duper close?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean, they were.
Speaker B:You know, of course Just being twins, you're just gonna be close no matter what.
Speaker B:You know, they've grown apart and you know, living in different areas they lived in.
Speaker B:You know, we lived out here and they're in the peninsula.
Speaker B:But they've always been just super connected.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:There's that connection.
Speaker B:A twins.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean it was.
Speaker B:It was devastating for Thavo to lose his twin while he was already sick.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I was devastated.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:That was just watching you go through that and even us not breaking down right now, like I'm trying to suck it down.
Speaker A:But it's Percy.
Speaker A:What the heck you over there doing?
Speaker A:That's Percy.
Speaker A:But no, I just watching you go through that, the ups and downs, like I went through it too.
Speaker B:Yeah, you were right there.
Speaker B:When you on the waves, the roller coaster.
Speaker A:I think we both got into gambling real bad.
Speaker B:Oh, we did like to go gamble in the middle of the night, didn't we?
Speaker B:You know, I think it was a coping thing.
Speaker A:It was definitely coping.
Speaker B:It was definitely a mind numbing exercise.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:That cost us a lot of money because I think it was several nights I would go and you wouldn't know.
Speaker B:It was just hard though.
Speaker A:It was very hard.
Speaker A:Just, you know, woo.
Speaker A:Just, you know.
Speaker A:And you know when I get up in that casino and I'm playing and I'm hitting them cards, I didn't think about nothing.
Speaker A:Even my own life.
Speaker B:Our phone.
Speaker B:We don't care about.
Speaker A:I don't care about nothing.
Speaker B:We go in the zone.
Speaker A:That's it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So I think that's kind of what got us in deep.
Speaker A:I think gambling was.
Speaker A:I was going every day, so she probably didn't even know.
Speaker A:I didn't even tell you.
Speaker A:Sometimes I would be embarrassed to see.
Speaker B:I'd be like, where are you?
Speaker B:Yeah, I already knew when you were.
Speaker B:You weren't answering.
Speaker B:No, I was guilty of it too.
Speaker B:I mean, I think, you know, I wasn't drinking thankfully, because I've had my fair share of problems with alcohol in the past and I knew if I started drinking I wasn't going to make it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because that's not a good choice.
Speaker B:And then I did start the GLP1 journey shot and then so I wasn't.
Speaker A:Eating for those of that know.
Speaker A:The OIC shot.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah.
Speaker A:She's lost you.
Speaker A:She.
Speaker B:But you know, so it's like there was nothing.
Speaker B:I was getting no fix anywhere.
Speaker A:Coffee.
Speaker A:We had coffee.
Speaker B:We had coffee.
Speaker A:We got coffee all the time.
Speaker B:There was some, some choices that probably I wouldn't suggest, but it Kept us, you know, temporarily happy.
Speaker B:Temporary happiness.
Speaker A:We was cool.
Speaker A:Like, I enjoyed our nights, you know, going out and just gambling, like, you know, it's just.
Speaker A:It's horrible now to where it was so bad, I banned myself from, literally from California.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:I'm going to Vegas.
Speaker A:I can't wait to go to Vegas.
Speaker B:Hey, I'm going next week, too, when I'm taking my nephew to go see the Bruno Mars concert.
Speaker A:No way.
Speaker B:Little Nico Barrett convinced me to take him to Vegas.
Speaker A:I want to totally win.
Speaker B:I'm going on Saturday, and I'm going for one day.
Speaker A:What day is that?
Speaker B:The 11th.
Speaker A:Me too.
Speaker B:Stop it.
Speaker A:I'm going on the 11th.
Speaker A:I have this next week.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:We're going to be in,.
Speaker A:Uh.
Speaker A:Oh, we gambling.
Speaker B:I have no money.
Speaker A:Girl, I give you some.
Speaker A:Oh, we gonna gamble.
Speaker A:Cause how funny.
Speaker B:We're gonna be in Vegas.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker A:I didn't know you were gonna.
Speaker B:He just convinced me my little nephew's never been to a concert, and you know his sister.
Speaker A:When do you leave?
Speaker B: am: Speaker A:When do you go back home?
Speaker B:I mean, 12p12 at 7pm Me too.
Speaker B:Stop.
Speaker B:You can't make this up.
Speaker A:I'm like, what?
Speaker A:I'm so serious.
Speaker A:I'm doing a podcast in Vegas, so we're gonna connect.
Speaker A:Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
Speaker B:So, yeah, Nico's like, auntie, you've taken Sophia to Taylor.
Speaker B:I've never been to a concert.
Speaker B:And I was like, all right, let's go.
Speaker B:The flights are expensive.
Speaker A:Mine was hella cheap.
Speaker A:You got to tell me since mine was like $100.
Speaker B:Oh, MG I won't tell you what mine were, but I'm excited to go to Vegas and you be there.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:How much was yours?
Speaker A:Like three something.
Speaker B:Double.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:It's spring break.
Speaker B:Did you book yours a long time ago?
Speaker A:No, I just booked it two weeks ago.
Speaker B:Unreal.
Speaker A:Mine was like 120 bucks.
Speaker B:Which airline?
Speaker A:I don't remember.
Speaker A:You know, I'm cheap.
Speaker A:It's the cheapest.
Speaker B:That's fine.
Speaker B:I looked everywhere and I couldn't find any flights.
Speaker A:Mine was super cheap.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:On 11th, you know, that's my favorite number, too.
Speaker B:Okay, but let's not get crazy.
Speaker A:No, I'm not.
Speaker A:I'm gonna.
Speaker B:We're gonna go and celebrate.
Speaker A:I can't really know for sure we're.
Speaker B:Gonna go and celebrate because we're on the other side of things and we haven't gone in a long time, so.
Speaker A:Oh, duh.
Speaker A:Nico's coming back with you.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:You got a room?
Speaker A:Airbnb?
Speaker B:No, I got MGM grand.
Speaker B:I got.
Speaker B:They comped a room for me.
Speaker A:I got an Airbnb.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:I wish I would have known.
Speaker B:I sure would have wanted to cancel your Airbnb.
Speaker B:Just stay with us.
Speaker A:Oh, I would.
Speaker B:I could have, yeah, if you want.
Speaker A:Heck, well, if they let me.
Speaker A:Give me my money back.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:It was cheap, too.
Speaker A:It's only for cuz I go in 11 on the 11th and then I fly out on the 12th.
Speaker A:Same in the evening sometime.
Speaker B:Same, same.
Speaker A:Oh, it's going down.
Speaker B:What are the odds?
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:We'll go have a nice dinner.
Speaker A:Yeah, let's have dinner with you, Nic.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Well, you know, this was such a great interview.
Speaker A:I want to start doing more personal interviews with the people.
Speaker B:Well, thank you for sharing my story.
Speaker B:And I mean, it's.
Speaker B:It's definitely not just my story.
Speaker B:There's so many people that were involved in this.
Speaker B:From the National Kidney foundation, the news came to you.
Speaker B:The donors to the local news.
Speaker B:We have a dear client and friend that wanted to share my husband's story and journey.
Speaker B:And he wanted his own privacy and was really, really scared the second time around, so he opted to not go on the news.
Speaker B:But they were very supportive and bringing awareness to the National Kidney foundation and the donor programs that are out there.
Speaker A:Yes, the angel donor program.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's.
Speaker B:It's really neat.
Speaker B:And we obviously wouldn't be here today if Tavo didn't get the transplant, man.
Speaker B:We wouldn't be having this conversation.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because he was probably would have been a different conversation.
Speaker B:Very sick in the end.
Speaker A:Very sick.
Speaker A:I seen him go down to like.
Speaker B:Yeah, he lost over 70 pounds and he lost his soul.
Speaker B:His soul was gone.
Speaker A:I hated to even see him.
Speaker B:Yeah, it was hard.
Speaker B:It was really hard.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker A:But you know what?
Speaker A:We're on the other side now.
Speaker A:You could probably get some wee wee now.
Speaker A:His sex life is better, I'm sure.
Speaker B:Yes, thank you.
Speaker A:Sex life is better.
Speaker B:Able to reconnect.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:He's not worried about supports in him and having, you know, all of those complications by doing at home dialysis every night.
Speaker A:And that's another thing, like even speaking about that because, you know, you an open book like me.
Speaker A:You open books like the sex.
Speaker A:Like a lot of women.
Speaker A:I feel like, especially in our age, we're horny dogs.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And so either we're horny dogs or we just don't want it at all.
Speaker A:But to stick through that and not be able to have the sexual connection with your husband.
Speaker A:That speaks volume as well.
Speaker A:And never cheat.
Speaker A:Trust me.
Speaker A:I even tried to get on me.
Speaker A:I'm worthless.
Speaker A:I'm worthless for even saying that.
Speaker A:Thavo is going to kill me.
Speaker A:I'm lying.
Speaker A:Tavo.
Speaker A:I never would do that.
Speaker A:But when we went to the little Jamaican, seeing all them black old men and they big huskies, you know, still solid.
Speaker A:She didn't look twice.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:So I just so respect you.
Speaker A:Would I have done that?
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:I don't even want to be in that situation.
Speaker A:My husband probably killed me thinking about saying that, but I don't even want to be in that situation.
Speaker A:But the fact that you were, and you stuck through that five, six years.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:With sex life up and down.
Speaker A:Because.
Speaker A:How long you and Tavo been married?
Speaker B: We've been married since: Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B: And I met him on match.com in: Speaker B:And, you know, I think something that Tavo gave me that changed me from the beginning was that unconditional love.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:So Tavo is, like, the most chill.
Speaker A:He is Sagittarius.
Speaker B:Funny, but quiet.
Speaker B:But he was really able to love me for me before I could even love myself.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You know, So I think that unconditional love was gave.
Speaker B:Given to me early on.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So I feel blessed.
Speaker A:You're bad.
Speaker A:Crazy.
Speaker B:You, dude.
Speaker A:Gemini back crazy.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker B:So I'm really fortunate that we met each other.
Speaker B:And, you know, it's.
Speaker B:Nothing's perfect, you guys.
Speaker B:We have had our ups and downs, and, you know, but we have fun.
Speaker B:And, you know, we are different now because we know what really matters, and we don't take life too serious.
Speaker B:We try not to argue, try not to get short with each other, but, you know, God's helping us through it.
Speaker B:And I think he may even go to church with me tomorrow.
Speaker A:I think I'm going too, but I would love to see y' all get remarried.
Speaker B:That'd be beautiful.
Speaker A:I would love to do that.
Speaker B:We should definitely renew our vows.
Speaker A:I would love for you guys to do that.
Speaker A:Let's.
Speaker B:Well, I'll go back to.
Speaker B:To Mexico where it all.
Speaker B:Where we had our first sweaty.
Speaker B:We'll go back to the resort and do it again.
Speaker A:I got a dress for you because I got three dresses.
Speaker A:I got a dress.
Speaker A:I would love that.
Speaker B:Actually, we should do that.
Speaker B:We can do a bogo.
Speaker A:What's bogo?
Speaker B:Buy one, get one.
Speaker A:No, I have Three dresses.
Speaker B:No, not the dresses.
Speaker B:The wedding part.
Speaker A:In Vegas?
Speaker B:No, in Mexico.
Speaker A:Oh, in Mexico.
Speaker A:Me and husband.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's too.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's actually dope.
Speaker B:Just a ceremony.
Speaker B:It does a thing and I don't.
Speaker A:Want a bunch of people like.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker B:Well, no, it's intimate.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, I'd rather just.
Speaker B:Because it would just be a commitment ceremony.
Speaker B:It's not official, but you know, I gotta get.
Speaker A:I need a dress.
Speaker A:Yeah, I have to wear that dress.
Speaker A:That dresses four grand.
Speaker B:And I'm like, no, girl, you could wear that dress.
Speaker A:I know, I'm psyched out.
Speaker B:Do the whole thing.
Speaker A:Let's talk about that.
Speaker A:She was there through my entire up and down relationship with my husband.
Speaker A:And oh my God.
Speaker A:Cause everybody know, if they don't know he's foreign and he's, you know, not a black man.
Speaker A:He's different and something different that I've never experienced and different culture.
Speaker A:He's Muslim, I'm Christian.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You know, he's not black.
Speaker A:I'm black.
Speaker A:He's African, but more Italian.
Speaker A:When you say African, people assume Nigerian.
Speaker A:The dark.
Speaker A:No, he's one of the ones that look like they work at the gas station.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So yeah, he English super broken, you know.
Speaker A:But one thing he said, what's that bar Brad?
Speaker A:Like, he's.
Speaker A:He's definitely getting out here.
Speaker B:He's solid though.
Speaker B:He loves you, girl.
Speaker A:He do.
Speaker A:He's a good guy.
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:You've been there through my craziness.
Speaker A:It's us though.
Speaker A:What I realize pretty much a lot of it is us emotional creatures.
Speaker A:Because when I look back, they just.
Speaker A:Men are like this and we're like, you know, so I've been in therapy with him actually, and it's just been like.
Speaker A:It's been, you know, better.
Speaker B:That's awesome.
Speaker B:And it actually, it's worth fighting for.
Speaker A:It is, you know, well, I'm worth fighting for.
Speaker A:Cause he better get it together.
Speaker A:Not me.
Speaker A:Okay, well, it was me though, so.
Speaker A:See, there I go once again.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:A lot of it was me because I've learned and maybe you can relate as women.
Speaker A:I feel like I'm a runner.
Speaker A:I didn't realize I was a runner until I got into a relationship with him.
Speaker A:Because I was single for so long.
Speaker B:And trauma from the past, trauma from.
Speaker A:My past holding CEO and the fear of abandonment or getting hurt.
Speaker A:So I self sabotage to before.
Speaker A:Before it happens to me.
Speaker A:I'm like, okay, yep, gotta go.
Speaker A:Cause you ain't talking about.
Speaker B:It's easier for you to break it off than for you to be hurt.
Speaker A:Oh yeah.
Speaker A:Way easier for me to break it off before they break it off.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:But who would break it off with us?
Speaker A:No, but you know, anywho, that's a whole nother.
Speaker A:That's gonna be a whole nother topic we gonna talk about.
Speaker A:So what do you think?
Speaker A:Like, Cause you know, I do my foster kids and stuff and you know, my granny died from kidney failure and my dad sick and unfortunately shout out to him.
Speaker A:I haven't talked to him in a very long time.
Speaker A:Don't even know how he' doing.
Speaker A:But you know, and of course I love him regardless.
Speaker A:But what would you say to someone that is going through that process of being a significant other, a family member, taking care of somebody, you know, that has that struggles with a serious health condition because I haven't a messed up organ.
Speaker A:That's major, right?
Speaker A:What would you, what advice would you give them to stay strong?
Speaker B:Like I would say, definitely.
Speaker B:First and most importantly, take care of yourself first.
Speaker B:Because if you're not well, you can't help anybody, right?
Speaker B:So if that's through religion or through fitness or through a therapist, make sure you're right and strong because you really can't help anyone if you're not taking care of yourself first.
Speaker B:And then secondly, just, you know, stay faithful.
Speaker B:I mean, for me that's really the advice that I can give is just stay faithful.
Speaker B:And miracles do happen.
Speaker B:And you know, I think in the end it's all God's will, it's all God's timing.
Speaker B:And no matter what, you're going to be okay and they're going to be okay no matter what the outcome is.
Speaker B:Oh, but I think, you know, for actually the most important thing is just stay present.
Speaker B:Oh, just stay in the moment, stay in the day, stay in the hour.
Speaker B:Because there are a lot of ups and downs and if you allow yourself to go to the worst case scenario or the next step or what ifs, you're not going to make it.
Speaker B:Those are some long days in the hospital.
Speaker B:There are some long days of unanswered prayers and you know, don't be afraid to get help and ask the community to get tested in, in the kidney case if you want someone to get tested.
Speaker B:But any terminal disease or any addiction, anything that you are on the other side of it as a family member or a wife, you know, just stay in the moment, stay present and make sure you take care of yourself.
Speaker A:Good words of advice.
Speaker A:I respect that, I really do.
Speaker A:Any last words?
Speaker A:You Want to tell the people before we go because we did good.
Speaker B:I think that, you know, I. I don't know that there's just so many, like hard days out there, but just, you know, lean into prayer, lean into your pastors, lean into friends and, you know, just stay faithful.
Speaker B:But I do want to thank you for having me on here because I get emotional and almost think your body has a mechanism of forgetting things because of the trauma.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:So even bringing it up, I don't.
Speaker B:I don't really remember everything.
Speaker B:But as hard as it is, my body is already forgotten in a good way.
Speaker B:Like I'm not feeling stressed or crying about it the way I was even just recently.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like, you will heal, your partner will heal and it'll be better.
Speaker B:But I brought you a little gift, Audra, because, you know, you are so generous to everyone that comes on your show and to me as your friend.
Speaker B:And I don't know if you all know, but Audra's love language is gifts.
Speaker A:Ah, tell them all, Percy.
Speaker A:I'll wait for mine too.
Speaker A:For me next time.
Speaker B:And I do own a jewelry company.
Speaker B:It's called Poppy Links Jewelry.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Audra loves her permanent jewelry, but she had this piece before, but she actually it broke.
Speaker B:So you got my piece.
Speaker B:I'm replacing her beautiful hand chain.
Speaker B:I love this is the white gold.
Speaker B:It's solid white gold and it's just like her signature.
Speaker B:So I wanted to make sure she.
Speaker A:Had it got me in.
Speaker B:So she's going to have it for her her podcast and she wears it beautifully.
Speaker B:She has beautiful hands.
Speaker A:Well, they get.
Speaker A:I'm getting old now, girl.
Speaker B:Don't say that.
Speaker A:I need to see it.
Speaker A:They need to see this.
Speaker A:They don't.
Speaker A:I don't even think they know.
Speaker A:One of a kind.
Speaker A:Put it on me, sister.
Speaker B:So this is a 14 karat white gold hand chain that love.
Speaker B:She'll wear it and it's really comfortable, right?
Speaker B:We wear them to sleep.
Speaker A:We wear about it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:You haven't had it for a minute.
Speaker A:I haven't had it.
Speaker A:I love.
Speaker A:You know, this was my favorite, favorite thing.
Speaker A:And then I want you to tell them to where they can find one.
Speaker A:Oh, I love this.
Speaker A:Oh, sister, I love you.
Speaker A:I've been missing my chain.
Speaker A:Can it fit?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Oh my gosh.
Speaker A:God, I love this chain so much, sister.
Speaker A:This is my favorite favorite.
Speaker A:You got it with nails is tricky.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Look at that.
Speaker B:So her hand chain's back.
Speaker A:I love this.
Speaker A:I never took it off.
Speaker A:You know that, right?
Speaker A:I was when I say I called her Y' all damn near crying when mine broke.
Speaker A:Oh, this is my favorite.
Speaker B:So it's just Poppy lynch jewelry dot com, right?
Speaker B:So you can order it online.
Speaker B:It is solid 14, 13 karat gold.
Speaker B:And this one's in the white.
Speaker B:I wear mine in the yellow.
Speaker B:And it's also available in rose gold.
Speaker A:I love it.
Speaker A:I'm so happy.
Speaker B:Enjoy.
Speaker B:It's so pretty.
Speaker A:It's gorgeous.
Speaker A:This is my favorite.
Speaker A:I never took it off.
Speaker A:I had it for a long time.
Speaker B:You did.
Speaker B:You did.
Speaker B:It's okay.
Speaker A:I had it for so long.
Speaker A:No, I was devastated when it broke.
Speaker A:Let me see.
Speaker A:It's so beautiful.
Speaker A:Thank you, sister.
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker A:Well, guess what?
Speaker A:We're gonna be in Vegas on the 11th.
Speaker A:I cannot believe.
Speaker B:What are the odds?
Speaker B:Odds.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:For both of us.
Speaker A:Or do we.
Speaker B:I do.
Speaker A:We have.
Speaker A:We have a limit.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker A:Gonna have a limit with our gambling guys, because we gamble when we go.
Speaker B:We might as well go shopping and have something to take home with us instead.
Speaker A:Stop.
Speaker A:Yeah, no.
Speaker A:Gamble both.
Speaker A:I'd rather gamble, because guess what?
Speaker A:We're gonna win, and we're gonna take that money and go shop.
Speaker A:Perfect.
Speaker A:Well, y' all make sure y' all go see her jewely line.
Speaker A:Super beautiful, super dainty up real gold.
Speaker A:But thank y' all for tuning in with me and my best.
Speaker A:Thank you, Ms. Erica Santos.
Speaker A:Thank you for coming.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker B:Thank you.
Speaker A:We out turn a hustle into a legacy.
